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Ever seen the film Deadpool? It is one of the American superhero films that are based on the Marvel Comic character of the same name. Deadpool is no doubt one of the best enigmatic superhero films to have graced our television screen in recent times. It chronicles the life of Wade Wilson () and how he transformed into Deadpool, who is arguably one of the most formidable fighters in the universe. Interestingly, this film isn’t just a regular comic series but a non-stop satire that makes you laugh hard as you witness extreme violence scenes. With that being said, Deadpool quotes are among the funniest movie quotes out there.
In addition to being quite funny and hilarious, Deadpool quotes are also capable of making you laugh until you get your ribs cracking. If you are a fan of Deadpool or perhaps want to catch up on your favorite lines from the film, here are 50 greatest Deadpool quotes that are also funny and hilarious.
50 Greatest Deadpool Quotes That are Also Funny and Hilarious
1. “You’re probably thinking “This is a superhero movie, but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a f***ing kebab.” Surprise, this is a different kind of superhero story.”
2. “I didn’t ask to be super and I’m no hero. But when you find out your worst enemy is after your best girl, the time has come to be a f***ing superhero. “
3. “Wow, this is such a big house, but I only ever see the two of you here. It’s like the studio didn’t have enough money for any more X-Men…”
4. “[to the audience] I know right? You’re probably thinking “Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie”? I can’t tell you his name, but it rhymes with ‘pullverine.’ [In an Australian accent] And lemme tell you, he’s got a nice pair of smooth criminals down under’.”
5. “Listen Al, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1,600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the apartment – right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck.”
6. “ You’re still here? Go home! Oh, you’re expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2. Well, we don’t have that kind of money. What are you expecting? Sam Jackson showing up in an eyepatch and saucy little leather number? Go!”
7. “[to Russell] Look. I can’t protect you. With this collar on, my superpower is just unbridled cancer. Give me a bow and arrow, I’m basically Hawkeye. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got tumors to grow. Vanessa awaits.”
8. “Yeah. That is a gun in my pants. But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy to see you…”
9. “So I look up, and who is standing over me but Captain America? So he throws his shield at me and I duck and it hits a tank of a viral diarrheic agent. Brother, let me tell you, you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen Captain America leave the scene of a fight because he’s gotta — and I do mean GOTTA — empty his bowels.”
10. “Crime’s the disease, meet the cure. Okay, not the cure, but more like a topical ointment to reduce the swelling and itch. Hi, Tom!”
11. “Oh, oh, so they’re letting Robin Hood in, but somehow the Avengers keep losing my phone number. What’s up with that?”
12. “Oh, hello there! I bet you’re wondering, why the red suit? Well, that’s so bad guys can’t see me bleed!”
13. “You just killed the nice deranged chick from the juice bar that I was gonna score with someday maybe!”
14. “Sorry, I use humour to deflect my insecurities. Plus, I’m hilarious, so don’t hate.”
15. “Four or five moments – that’s all it takes to become a hero. Everyone thinks it’s a full-time job. Wake up a hero. Brush your teeth a hero. Go to work a hero. Not true. Over a lifetime there are only four or five moments that really matter. Moments when you’re offered a choice to make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, save a friend – spare an enemy. In these moments everything else falls away…”
16. “If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?”
17. “Vanessa’s already working on plan’s A, B, through Z. Me? I’m trying to memorize the details of her face like it’s the first time I’m seeing it… or the last.”
18. “[laughing maniacally] That’s right! You’re about to be killed by a Zamboni! You’re going to die… in five minutes!”
19. “People think they understand pain. They have no concept of it beyond their own worst experience.”
20. “In every film, there’s a moment when the hero hits rock bottom, in Cool Runnings, it was when John Candy’s prized bobsled broke. In Human Centipede, it was when those people signed on to be in that movie. But in this film, well, you’re looking at it. Rock, meet Bottom.”
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Funny and Hilarious Deadpool Quotes
21. Cable: “The name’s Cable. I’m from the future. Just walk away.”
Deadpool: “Oh! So, you’re from the future. I have three questions then. One, is dubstep still a thing? Two, which Sharknado are we on? And three, at what point do audiences say, ‘Enough with the robotic arms?’”
22 “I just want to get to know the real you. Not the short, 2-dimensional sex object peddled by Hollywood.”
23. “The worst part about cancer isn’t what it does to you. But what it does to the people you love. Who knew if this guy could save my life, but I knew there was only one way I could save hers.”
24. “She’s like the Batman to my Robin, but old, black, blind, and in love with me. Although I’m pretty sure Robin loves Batman.”
25. “Okay guys, I only have twelve bullets, so you’re all going to have to share!”
26. “Whatever they did to me made me totally indestructible… and completely unf**kable.”
27. “It’s Christmas day, and I’m after someone on my naughty list!”
28. “You’re as American as Mom’s apple pie and handguns.”
29. “Hey, Wolvie, any chance I can provoke you into some pointless bloodshed?”
30. “That a giant fiberglass weenie or are you just happy to see me?”
31. “I’d sing some Black Sabbath right now, but the bean counter says we spent all our money on writers. What a waste.”
32. “Deadpool: Here, check it out. She’s sending away for all these colorful clinic brochures. I’m sure they’re all FDA approved. Chechnya, isn’t that where you go to get cancer? You got China and Central Mexico. You know how they say “cancer” in Spanish?”
“Weasel: No.”
“Wade Wilson: El cancer.”
33. “You’re probably thinking, “My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kebab!” Well, I may be super, but I’m no hero. And yeah, technically, this is a murder. But some of the best love stories start with a murder. And that’s exactly what this is, a love story. And to tell it right… I gotta take you back to long before I squeezed this ass into red spandex.”
34. “Listen, the day I decide to become a crime-fighting shit swizzler who rooms with ava bunch of other little whiners at the Neverland Mansion of some creepy, old, bald, Heaven’s Gate-looking motherfucker… on that day, I’ll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request!”
35. “You can’t buy love, but you can rent it for three minutes!”
36. “Here’s the thing, Life is an endless series of train wrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness. This had been the ultimate commercial break. Which meant it was time to return to our regularly scheduled programming.”
37. “Never underestimate the stupidity of idiots.”
38. “Oh, that’s the sun. Don’t stare directly into that. I just have a few final words. Woodpecker. Gingivitis. Codswallop. Do you want to build a snowman?”
39. “And you, Cable. You get back to your family. You tell them Wade says hi. And promise me, promise me one thing. That you’ll start judging people not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”
40. “Cable: Here’s a spoiler alert. You’re not a fucking hero. You’re just an annoying clown dressed up as a sex toy.” “Deadpool: Well, I got news for you. My heart is in the right place. Russell’s not going to kill anyone. Because of me, he’s going to know what real love looks like.” “Cable: Because of you, I’ll always know what a grown man with baby balls looks like.” “Deadpool: I’m a grower, not a shower.” “Domino: I should’ve finished college.”
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41. “Why not travel back to when he was a baby, kill him then? Or better yet, head back a little further, kill baby Hitler.”
42. “Deadpool: You know, it has always been a dream of mine, to see my face reflected in your helmet as you charge at me with murderous intent. I don’t mean right now. Juggernaut: I’m going to rip you in half now. Deadpool: That is such a Juggernaut thing to say.”
43. “I want to die a natural death at the age of 102 – like the city of Detroit.”
44. “With great power comes great merchandising opportunity.”
45. “What’s a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?”
46. “Love is a beautiful thing. When you find it, the whole world smells like a daffodil daydream.”
47. “You don’t need to be a superhero to get the girl. The right girl will bring out the hero in you.”
48. “If that hit you in the chest, I’m sorry. I was aiming for your crotch.”
49. “With great power comes great merchandising opportunity.”
50. “I can say Chimichanga in seven languages.”
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