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Kevin Hart possesses a unique talent giving him the natural ability to be humorous and make people laugh. When he speaks, one can hardly tell if he’s joking or serious. Thanks to this talent, Kevin has gained global fame and has managed to become one of the most successful actors in Hollywood. Kevin is so good that many others have tried to emulate his style.
Kevin’s career is decorated with a truck load of funny jokes. After going through the comedian’s funniest moments, we have come up with a list of Kevin Hart’s funniest quotes and sayings. The quotes are just too many and listing all of them is venturing a little too close to the realms of insanity. So here are some selected ones. Sit back and read them as they send you hysterics.
- “In case you believe you were kicked in the face you then you most likely deserved it because that means that you had the chance to watch the foot come to your face.”
- “How do people manage to shit on themselves while they are asleep? That is some nasty shit….like what kind of sick dream were you having that caused that.”
- “Considering today’s relationships = First week: I love you baby. Second week: Together forever. And third week: Single.”
- “The only time you should look back on your life, is to see how far you have come.”
- “I really hate to hear women argue this is because it makes my balls itch.”
- “I am an (expletive) liar. If in case I am late, something drastic happened. ‘Yo, dude, sorry I am late. I was on the highway, and this (expletive) baby began running on the highway. Yeah, I know right, (expletive) it’s crazy. Therefore I decided to get out of my car and start chasing the baby.’”
- “The scariest (expletive) to me in the world are the so-called bum hands. I am willing to bet you all any amount of money right now, if you all walk out after this show, and a bum come up to you, and flick your lip, that you kill yourself tonight.”
- “It is my mother’s funeral. I am on the right side, I have got the casket and I am crying; I am a mess. My father sees me crying; he stands up and punches me in the back of the head. ‘Man up. She is gone.’ I forgot where I was and threw the casket.”
- “Whoever invented liquor should be shot dead immediately, hangovers are the worst. I swear it feels like a very fat baby is kicking me repeatedly in the head.”
- “I was led to believe that guns were loud until I dropped the damn shampoo in the shower.”
- So I am at the office and I tell this guy to pass me the stapler, but when he passes it, he must ensure staples are in it, because if there isn’t any, I cannot staple anything’.
- “You like cheese without the corners, in other words you’ll never be a slice bitch!”
- If I still cannot hear what you have to say after you have repeated it three times, I will just laugh and hope it was not a question.
Can’t get enough? The best way to get more of Kevin Hart’s Jokes is by watching his movies.